


comet

by tatooines



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, God - Freeform, I have a research paper to finish and here i am, I have to be up early to walk to the Uni for a 7:30 am class, I made myself sad, I'm Sorry, Kylo, MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING, but - Freeform, here i fucking am, jk, very sorry, writing sad Hanleia shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5824531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatooines/pseuds/tatooines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wishes they were young again so that she could run up to him and he could pull her into his warm embrace, and they could retreat to the Falcon and stay there until the light creeps into the cabin’s shutters and onto their bodies. All they have as they stand in front of each other are weary bones and gaps in their chests—mumbling apologies that neither of them can barely hear. Han/Leia drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	comet

She knows of this: that he will always find his way home to her.

 _Your father is a comet_ , she chuckled, tucking her son to sleep, _he disappears but he’ll always come back_.

 _But for how long?_ The boy asked, and Leia shrugged her shoulders, because she never knew when he would return, and all she was certain of is that when he does, he would scoop Ben up onto his shoulders and kiss her on the cheek and jokingly tell her how much he does not miss her at all.

***

Fifteen years.

When Han Solo appears in front of her ship’s blast doors in Takodana, Leia’s chest swells with pride— _I told you so, I told you so!_ She tells herself, he’d be back, _I told you so!_

***

She wishes they were young again so that she could run up to him and he could pull her into his warm embrace, and they could retreat to the Falcon and stay there until the light creeps into the cabin’s shutters and onto their bodies. All they have as they stand in front of each other are weary bones and gaps in their chests—mumbling apologies that neither of them can barely hear.

***

I saw him. I saw our son.

She does not see a tall, cloaked figure. She does not imagine him speaking through a modulator. She sees her face and Han’s face merged from the tips of his eyebrows to the way Ben’s chin juts out, she hears her three-year old laughing and giggling as she blows on his little stomach, she sees Han’s fingers tracing the outlines of their son’s nose, his ears, his lips, with his forefinger. She hears her husband’s sleepy voice, my god, he’s perfect. My god, he’s ours.

***

Bring him back.

***

The night before they leave for Rey’s rescue he enters Leia’s room¬¬ without knocking, and she, in turn, shuts the door behind them.

When he kisses her she tries to recall how long it has been since, and when he touches her it is muscle memory.

 _Don’t_ , she murmurs, _you wouldn’t…like what you’ll see._

_You’re all I’ve wanted to see._

She sits on the edge of her bed, fingers running over weary hands, _I’m old_.

 _And so am I_.

When she cries in his arms they are young again, and when she wakes up before the sun has risen she sighs a sigh of relief, for he is still there.

***

_I’ve always hated watching you leave._

***

It isn’t the disturbance in the force that makes the pain pull her heavy heart further down into the ground.

It is the thought of the Falcon returning without its captain. It is the thought of hushed voices and silences on behalf of her grief.

It is the memory of him running to meet Ben, and their son wrapping his arms around his neck. It is the thought of him presenting a smuggled rock lizard to their son even if it went against her wishes, _Leia_ , he would plead, _you know I’d do anything for the kid, right?_

It is the hour after she gives birth to their son. It is the minute they spend half crying, half laughing, as they marvel at their sleeping Ben, _he’s ours,_ Han would say over and over, _he’s ours_.

It is their first kiss on the Falcon. It is the ungodly hour of two in the morning when he asks her to marry him.

It is the second she did not hesitate to say yes.

It is the last few moments they spend locked in each other’s embrace. He promises that within the next few days he will have their son back, and they will be together again, and all will be well.

 

It is the night she’d told him that she did love him, the night she was sure that she really did love him and my god, did it hurt—and the night he’d reminded her that he already knew.

**Author's Note:**

> hi my name is Martina and this is Jackass, aka, I like making myself sad so i made a Han/Leia drabble instead of finishing my research paper WHICH IS DUE in two days so
> 
> here you GO HAVE SOME SAD SHIT
> 
> please listen to this for a more heart shattering experience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDWKuo3gXMQ
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated, here and on alun-sina.tumblr.com (drop me message, or smth HEHE)!


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